"You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in you." -- St. Augustine of Hippo
It's been awhile since I've blogged.
I've been thinking for a couple of weeks now that I'm neglecting this site. I've been thinking that I ought to just provide quick updates and anecdotes about the kids. That's what my readership (largely friends and family) tend to read and comment on anyway. But I also have in my head these much grander posts I'd like to write, but can't find the time for -- and I second-guess myself about the smaller updates and think, "Why spend valuable writing time on the day-to-day, when you have bigger fish to fry?"
As a result of this back-and-forth, I've written nothing.
Last night, a dear friend, Fr. Tyler from Prairie Father, visited from South Dakota. As usual, we talked long and late about everything under the sun -- most amusing were his interrogation of Trevor on the topic of Greek mythology, which Trevor knows primarily from Percy Jackson and not from the myths themselves, and his discussion with Gabe about the nature of reality and the unintended consequences of Copernicus's work and the scientific method.
Later, we began to talk more practically about how we, as Catholic adults, can live our faith on a daily basis and act as missionaries wherever we happen to be. I admitted a tendency to downplay the little ways in which I can evangelize in favor of planned grand gestures in the future: a book I'd like to write, or a pilgrimage or retreat I'd like to take with friends or family. Several times during the discussion, Fr. Tyler repeated, "It's in the details. It's in the little things."
"I know you're right," I replied at one point, "but that's not how I'm living on a day-to-day basis."
I've said before that I believe men want to be a part of something great and glorious -- but although I had a great marriage and glorious family, I'm constantly, restlessly searching for that great and glorious thing -- that other life -- I should be leading.
It's in the small things.
I thought about his words throughout a restless night and morning -- then checked my personal email and found a new, anonymous comment on this blog post. It's the most popular post on my little site, and I joke about it sometimes, because my web stats tell me that post, in particular, is big in Russia.
Yeah, I'm read internationally. Deal with it.
The point is, not only am I looking for the next big thing, but I downplay, and even mock, the little things I do well. Today an anonymous reader (Fr. Tyler, was that you?) reiterated the message of last night: It's in the small things.
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Blogger's Postscript: Apparently I've written this post before. How soon we forget...
Labels: faith, family, fatherhood, friends, Gabe, prayer, Trev, writing